realness

not understanding why im still up throwing all this around in my mind.. my feelings get hurt in the most obnoxious ways. the things that should hurt never do. the time i invested in some people/things was a lost cause. i sit here today with nothing but what i should have invested time into in the first place. MYSELF. I... am the only thing myself has. me has seen me through everything.. i need to take better care of me

got my guard up

i built up a wall

and i cant get over it

cant get around it

cant go under it

on the other side

is that perfect moment

but im stuck on my side

just wondering

dont wanna break my wall

only to build it over again

and if im forced to rebuild

it will be 3 times stronger

7 times higher

and 10 feet deeper

which will make it impossible

for anyone to break through

all this to say

is my wall worth breaking down for you?

i wanna believe that its not the same.

i wanna start over i'll tell you my name.. it feels like i've lost more than i've gained feels like i've moving and nothing has changed... these fears might break me as i try my best to hold on...

what went wrong somehow i got all turned around now im lost and praying for daylight

i need some room to breathe so wont you help me please i cant make it on my own dont wanna be out here alone.

i wanna let go and be free to love to put the past behind and move on i just cant be far from home.

overcast.

we all have to cry sometimes...
far too many times have i heard the lines im not ready for a relationship
for that very same person to be in a relationship a few days later
lol smh... and im supposed to continue this discomfort and awkward position till the right one comes along..
and we wonder why people fall into depression etc..
we live in a cold dishonest world.
how much better things would be if everyone learned to be honest and open with good intentions.

old poems

i dont want it to be so predictable

i want everything sparatically

i dont wanna make a educated guess

why is this so hard it isnt anatomy

i want out of the ordinary

not right on schedule

i wanna be pleasently surprised

not exactly what i expected

this gets old

i want something new

if i say give me purple

buy me something blue

i dont want it to be given to me

i dont want to choose

i dont want order i dont want rules

i'd rather be blindfolded

then to see the next step

i want the opposite of what i expect

your prolly reading this

like what the heck

why do you want kaos

why not something stable instead?

because everytime i try it that way

i get mislead

so i wanna be wrong

i dont wanna be right

i want my idea of guys

not to be made out of spite

let me be right about being wrong

or do i wanna be wrong about being right?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

lol at least he tried

ALIEM (10:25:41 PM): Well I aint trynna seem like im some expert
charmsmannequin (12:25:54 PM): lol i know
ALIEM (10:26:01 PM): I forgot what I was bout to say
ALIEM (10:26:06 PM): Lmfaaoooooo
charmsmannequin (10:26:14 PM): -_- ahahahahaahahahahahahahaha!
...ALIEM (10:26:17 PM): @ I know clearly im a wreck
Aliem Jiles ♥ he was gonna give me some advice.. should i take it after he remembers? ahahaha

:-)

Aijshia Moody first impression: dayum this girl tall a.f!
secret: no homo i think your super pretty
confession: i want a shirt from your clothing line
what is unique about you: your look is unique! you have odd facial features ( no offense) but they make you BEAUTIFUL!

Jordon Burnside Diamora Hunt
first impression: shes tall...
like:sleepin on the couch
dislike:fighting over who got to sleep on the couch
confession: that was one of the best nights of sleep i ever had!

right place wrong time

heard this song by algebra blessett today man i almost cried she said everything on my mind and in the simplest form so i posted the lyrics here... sigh

It's funny how some things stay on your mind
It's funny how some moments hang in time
I remember when we met
How we became good friends
But I don't remember when
When you started to go astray and for what reason
That you finally went away
Why did you leave me
If it were anyone else
If I could cut all my ties
But you're a part of my life
And it's starting to feel like

Everywhere I go
I hear your name
And I play it off like things are the same
Pretending to know the reason why
That it's not
What happened baby
What happened honey
To the way things used to be

Everyday I try to block it out my head
I haven't seen ya
I just don't know what I said
We used to spend time
We used to be fine
You had my heart
Now we don't even talk
Like we used to
Baby this is not what I'm used to
Tell me where did it go
I'd do anything to know
That it was not all in vain
And there is a reason
You went away
See I've tried
Over and over again
To get some understanding
So I can know where we're standing

wise words from a decent man

@imfugnjomo Someone from back home in #LA said...."You act so different now, you moved and I can't quite understand who you are anymore".......
@imfugnjomo I just responded......"I'm evolving, I'm adding a story to my life, I havnt changed, you just don't understand GROWTH"
@imfugnjomo Then, and there, that's when it hit me that some people aren't made for who U R, the life you live, and the progress you make..........

Ima say it though im sure you know..

tonight was a ryan leslie night!


sweetdreamz

long shot

My heartbeat beats me senselessly
Why's everything got to be so intense with me

be humble.

Greed redifined and corrupted what true power is. Domination is for the weak, Harmony is the true sign of strength. -lupe

dream.

thank God for the trials of life, without them we can't know purpose!

forget all hope for the present cuz it just slipped away

forget being real with you im just bein real with me... we could make a home love you just gotta build with me... i dont need the loudness you just gotta chill with me.. if life's a bumpy road then its alotta hills with me...

i could follow you to the beginning just to relive the start... maybe then we'd remember to slow down at all of our favorite parts...
all i wanted was you.

look i know its no excuse but im only human.

you cant have my heart the doctor told me i'd be dead without it.

hmmmm fact or fiction

ashley olsen.

Ugly girls like everyone..pretty girls like everyone they shouldn't ...that's why ugly girls are gettin married and pretty girls stay single


ahahahahaha i read this on twitter.

Bestfriends ♥

Tierrah Alexis " you got me so excited abt this mag. ^_^ resume gonna look more than right! haha , my mom was right abt that 5 friend thing, kuz I look at u , my bestfriend & see a star so I know I'm destined too be somebody as well, thank u for being the positivity in my life! I love u ♥"

is it me.

Is It Me? am I so complicated?
Is It Me? or is love over-rated?
Is It Me? cause I don't quite understand
Why it never turns out how I thought I planned it
Is It Me? am I too independent?
Is It Me? not ready for commitment?
Is It Me? cause it doesn't seem to last
And it's the only question that I never asked


Hands down
I'm to proud for
LOVE
but with eyes shut
its YOU
im thinking of...
but how we move from a to b it cant be up to me
cause you don't know who i was before you
basically to see a change in me I'd be losing
so i just
IGNORE YOU

Ponder.

i woke up holding my pillow didnt know it was a dream.

i got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match what a catch.

my cousin was diagnosed with schizophrenia. smh this bright talented beautiful person i once knew is just not the same. Just not the same.. when i was younger i admired her. she can sing rap write and MODEL.. sigh.. she doesnt want to take her medication. what do you say? your sick you need this for the rest of your life.. i know she feels like nothing is wrong.. i dunno im just typing cuz i dont know what to say.. im scared man... i love her so much i wouldnt wish this on no one. i know how ppl diagnosed act. they are paranoid.. they hear voices and see ppl we dont.. smh then on top of that she is creative and she has an imagination. man. its just something thats hard to handle and i know alot of my family isnt gonna be able to understand..

I can't lie and say I
Always understand why
The rain falls on me
And I have to admit, I feel my faith is gone
It's easy to believe when sorrow never comes your way
And when I try to pray, it seems the words they come out wrong
So everything that matters to me
I give it all to you
Cuz I'm tired of the way the crying feels
And just to let you know I have been hurt so many times
So I pray to God that this time loves for real
So even though I can't see what tomorrow may bring
I believe in you cuz you believe you believe in me
And even when the night makes the light hard to see
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
I can't lie and say I
Always smile but I try
The tears sometimes they come
And nothing people say can ease the pain
but when I close my eyes I see you reaching out for me
You tell me that this test I'm in, it won't last always .