Overcast

i guess that you will always be
the part of me that i look back upon
with saddened eyes and wonder why it ever had to be
i guess that you have always known
the love i had for you was strong
but like a potted plant
im just a woman who needed room to grow

now i find myself alone again
guess i'll be alright i just don't know when
i spend all my days in the back of my mind
someone tell me why my sun wont shine

you say goodbye and then proceed to give me all the reasons why
you couldn't realize the dreams i had for you and me
its been awhile since you've been gone
i guess apart of me still holding on
to yesterdays
and crazy things
like the way we used to be...

cuz i've picked up all the pieces
you left behind
and i understood the reasons
i still wonder why
and this overcast is crazy
i cant see the light
i've been longing for the warm rays of the sunshine
cuz see i used to want you
and i used to hold you
and i used to want to be everything that you were..
TO ME.


this is a song by levi stephens called overcast.. sometimes tears really come to my eyes after hearing this.. cuz one person comes to mind.. a good friend of mines.. if it were up to me we'd be more than that..we were more than that for a lil while.. you know how that goes.. i stopped talking to him. i couldnt stand just being friends.. i know that if i were to find out he was with someone else i wouldnt even be angry.. I'd feel much better knowing he's happy even if its not with me.

I keep hearing how my time will come. but im over all that.. i get made a fool out of when i stop to believe HE COULD CHANGE ME. yea the last person i thought that about.. placed me in that friends with benefits mode. which i didnt mind cuz i knew in the back of my mind who i REALLY wanted... he found someone who he figured matched better with though.. which i aint mind just wish i coulda got the heads up on the change.. Truth is im happy for him too. Everything happens for a reason i've learned to take that statement and not stress myself trying to find out what those reasons are.

My clothing line is coming together so nicely
i have to sit back and give myself a pat on the back
im so excited that i found something that i can incorporate all my talents into.

Im so thankful for my friends i've had them all forever and one of them is moving on to do bigger and greater things in his life.. i hope one day he will return but im so proud he's taking a big leap forward to better himself. Sydney you will be missed and you know this. cant wait to come visit :-)

only place i can say how i truly feel...

you found me here
here in this place
and with everything that's happened
I've lost my way
and though i tried to change
it is what it is
i'm so afraid of starting over
i dont know where im to begin
see we all fall and every so often
we find ourselves caught in a moment
but were not lost
were just where we belong.

the days go by
and turn into weeks
but with every one that passes
i find no peace
so i let go
and try to put my fears to rest
see the initial hurt is over
now the healing must begin...

and god only know's where we go from here
im afraid still i know this... is where i belong


i found myself inside these tears
now i know my strength
inspite of the fear
and the doubt
its like im lost and im found
its beyond my control and i know
this is where i belong.


even though i have such positive things goin on in my life. There is always the negative. alot of things i cant FIX. i just decided instead of focusing on my feelings.. and fears.. and what i dont have.. i need to realize im right where im supposed to be. There is a lesson to be taught here even if i dont see the results until later. But im where i belong happy.. sad..angry.. heartbroken. This is where im supposed to be. IM RIGHT WHERE I BELONG.

no title

see personally im not searching for perfection
when you expect to much
nothing is what your left with
and im not the perfect person
so how can i expect you to be
but i want you to be able to look in the mirror
and see what i see
like wise i want to be able to do the same
but i know if i were too look at me through your eyes
i'd be in pain
cuz what you see is friendship
a good friend and nothing more
got me wishing i could buy love
but then it would still probably be something i cant afford

i trust my heart on so many levels
but i feel like it always leads me astray
i always find myself trying to keep
someone who doesnt want to stay
or i express my feelings
and they dont feel the same way
ask my friends for advice
diamora your beautiful he's missing out
but i wanna be beautiful on my insides
as well as out
and right now im feeling like im neither
though i know there's more to me than meets the eye
i aint found that person who's willing to give me a try

now im not complaining
just repetition gets old
and to love im a beginner
but to heartbreak im a pro
but who ever said you cant be happy and single
has probably had worst luck
and though i go to sleep alone
i havent given up.
-diamora