dream.

thank God for the trials of life, without them we can't know purpose!

forget all hope for the present cuz it just slipped away

forget being real with you im just bein real with me... we could make a home love you just gotta build with me... i dont need the loudness you just gotta chill with me.. if life's a bumpy road then its alotta hills with me...

i could follow you to the beginning just to relive the start... maybe then we'd remember to slow down at all of our favorite parts...
all i wanted was you.

look i know its no excuse but im only human.

you cant have my heart the doctor told me i'd be dead without it.

hmmmm fact or fiction

ashley olsen.

Ugly girls like everyone..pretty girls like everyone they shouldn't ...that's why ugly girls are gettin married and pretty girls stay single


ahahahahaha i read this on twitter.

Bestfriends ♥

Tierrah Alexis " you got me so excited abt this mag. ^_^ resume gonna look more than right! haha , my mom was right abt that 5 friend thing, kuz I look at u , my bestfriend & see a star so I know I'm destined too be somebody as well, thank u for being the positivity in my life! I love u ♥"

is it me.

Is It Me? am I so complicated?
Is It Me? or is love over-rated?
Is It Me? cause I don't quite understand
Why it never turns out how I thought I planned it
Is It Me? am I too independent?
Is It Me? not ready for commitment?
Is It Me? cause it doesn't seem to last
And it's the only question that I never asked


Hands down
I'm to proud for
LOVE
but with eyes shut
its YOU
im thinking of...
but how we move from a to b it cant be up to me
cause you don't know who i was before you
basically to see a change in me I'd be losing
so i just
IGNORE YOU

Ponder.

i woke up holding my pillow didnt know it was a dream.

i got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match what a catch.

my cousin was diagnosed with schizophrenia. smh this bright talented beautiful person i once knew is just not the same. Just not the same.. when i was younger i admired her. she can sing rap write and MODEL.. sigh.. she doesnt want to take her medication. what do you say? your sick you need this for the rest of your life.. i know she feels like nothing is wrong.. i dunno im just typing cuz i dont know what to say.. im scared man... i love her so much i wouldnt wish this on no one. i know how ppl diagnosed act. they are paranoid.. they hear voices and see ppl we dont.. smh then on top of that she is creative and she has an imagination. man. its just something thats hard to handle and i know alot of my family isnt gonna be able to understand..

I can't lie and say I
Always understand why
The rain falls on me
And I have to admit, I feel my faith is gone
It's easy to believe when sorrow never comes your way
And when I try to pray, it seems the words they come out wrong
So everything that matters to me
I give it all to you
Cuz I'm tired of the way the crying feels
And just to let you know I have been hurt so many times
So I pray to God that this time loves for real
So even though I can't see what tomorrow may bring
I believe in you cuz you believe you believe in me
And even when the night makes the light hard to see
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
I can't lie and say I
Always smile but I try
The tears sometimes they come
And nothing people say can ease the pain
but when I close my eyes I see you reaching out for me
You tell me that this test I'm in, it won't last always .

Poems i never completed..

poems not completed..

Look where im at now in my life
but i dont do regrets or look twice
every decision i make is logical
every mistake i make is practical
and all the dudes i date are irrational
i got dreams but i never sleep
im daydreaming bout where i plan to be
but its not dreaming technically
cuz im awake during everything

NEXT


Do i ever come up in discussion
with the people who witnessed you let go of something perfect?
do they ever tell you you made a foolish mistake?
or do you never bring it up cuz its all criticism you cant take
i know you've thought twice about the choices you made
but if we had to do it all over i'd like to do it the same
so i could be available for the person who thinks im all worth it
love me for more than what im showing on the surface
thanks to you i got my guard up though
and you did teach me how to take control
hide my feelings that way im in full control of the situation
and i can monitor my emotions so my love isnt wasted

Part of the list.

mmm im not just unhappy single. but you want someone there you know every once in awhile. i have never hated on what anyone else had because everything aint always peachy cream. realistically i know that if i was too super yern for something someone else had i'd get what i was asking for without really having any idea of what im truly asking for.

most of the time i find myself falling for someone because of their intellect... then their smile and then their sense of style. but im searching for someone with depth i dont know i truly believe i havent found that person yet.. and i honestly dont mind waiting for that person.

anywho i was watching basketball wives and shaunie wanted to know if shaq had slept with glorias sister.. gloria wanted her too talk to her sister about it and not her. they were angry with her whole "blood is blood" demeanor but i mean its true.. they look at her like she should speak up on her sisters behalf but i think gloria was right her sister should speak up on her sisters behalf.

hmmm yesterday i made a small attempt to see someone i've been feeling for awhile.. only for him to make no attempt at all. it just made me realize that im over being confused.. im over wanting for something to happen and the other person to be up and down. im over talking to someone everyday! because they make the effort to hit me up everyday only for them to choose someone over me when i start to show interest. im ready to be the exception.. but all i see is me pushing away people who may come along.. realistically what else am i supposed to do go through this continuous draining... sad... repetition? NOPE!

sad thing is im not a lovesick stalker who hops on anyone who show's interest
i see things for what they are.. deal with it if it hurts and move on
most of the guys im interested in make the attempt it takes alot for me to get up and go along with it..
i live the life of a broken hearted girl lowkey.

love is not for me
could be just right now
but whatever the time frame
today tomorrow next month.. NEXT YEAR still not gonna be for me.