matt...

Sometimes i feel as if im kinda heartless or not sensitive enough
i see all these girls posts on my ex boyfriends wall about how much they miss him since he's passed things havent been the same. I JUST SMH.. like u writing on his facebook is not you missing him its for publicity why do people claim people after they have passed? that has always made me mad. yes some people have a reason to miss him some people were really close to him... maybe prolly only 2% i wouldnt dare keep writing about how much i miss him because when he was in the hospital i visted ONCE talked on the phone and kept in touch that was it.. but in all honesty i wasnt there like i could have been and im not gonna sit and act like i was... and im not gonna sit back and act like he was the love of my life.. he was my first sexual experience and to be honest that wasnt great.. he did make me see that men are selfish they only want one thing and no matter what they will leave you feeling like your not good enough. i havent been a relationship since him. and thats if you wanna count what we had has a relationship. he taught me that u cant trust ppl saying trust me. on another note he was a good friend when he wanted to be. and when we were together we shared things together that i prolly dont see myself sharing with someone else for a long time. do i still have a grudge... nah everyone is a learning experience. i do feel sad that he 's gone though he was young.. but in reality we all have to go one day.. he was a reminder that life can be taken away in the blink of an eye. thats that though ya know...

xoxo charm.

hmmm.. TELL em!

toni braxton killed this song for real!
Hands tied.

You're asking me if I
Know what real love feels like
If I ever loved anyone inside
You cant be serious
Cause I was the one giving all I had
I kept my promises all intact
For better or worse I honored that
I could show you all about love

Baby I can love you with my hands tied
I can please you with my hands tied
Everything you need is right here
It's just staring you in your face
Stop asking me if I'm ready
Cause this is just what I'll say
Cause I could love you
With my hands tied...

Don't ever question my love
I love hard despite the
Heartbreaks I made light of
You see I been around
I was the one tryna to patch it up
and I watch them say I've had enough
All I just keep thinking of
I could show you all about love

Baby I can love you with my hands tied
I can please you with my hands tied
Everything you need is right here
It's just staring you in your face
Stop asking me if I'm ready
Cause this is just what I'll say
Cause I could love you with my hands tied.

- toni braxton
GENIUS!

illustrating my feelings

i cant pretend that everythings all good
nope i cant say that everythings all bad





hmmm so one of my bestfriends broke up with her boyfriend.
do i think they will be back together?
yes
when? i dont know...
just i never figured they were perfect just didnt see them breaking up
makes me look at alot of other things differently
a reminder that no one is perfect.
or no couple.. i feel like every couple goes through something how would you know it was ment to be if you cant survive one storm?





on my end though.. i have alot of plans
i need order
i need a team
i need more yearly goals
and another source of income you know.
i think vanitydollhouse has potential to become something great





anywho i think too much
and deep down inside im missing someone
but at the same time i kno he isnt missing me.
and deep down i've accepted that and honestly dont care anymore
feeling like i'll find someone else
even if its another three years im sure it will be well worth the wait.

You hear but you dont listen.

I'm more than just an option
refuse to be forgotten
I took a chance with my heart
And I feel it taking over
I'm more than just a number
I doubt you'll find another
so every single summer
I'll be the one that you remember
its more than just a mission
you hear but you don't listen
You better pay attention
and get what you been missing

too many times Ive been wrong
I guess being right takes too long
I'm done waiting, there's nothing left to do
but give all I have to you and
I better find your loving
I better find your heart

this what ima do till its over

you ever notice if you listen to so far gone then play trey songz anticipation right after the mood is still the same?

The production is similar its calming.. trey songz and drake are doing more than making music... they take you to another place u aint even gotta be able to relate they make you feel them no matter the situation. i feel drake though and i love how he was able to make it by just being him self.

YOUR RIGHT THERE

Im so in love with this song.. it just makes me smile on the inside.. like i know the feeling he is talking about.. and its just a reminder of that.. havent felt like what he's saying in this song in a long time.. but i just love that this song brings me to a happy place. whom ever i dedicate this song too in the future is gonna be someone mighty mighty special :-)

Happy.

Sometimes people dont understand that you are NOT bitter, jealous, or envious when u can speak about ur hurt....u are Brave & Wise. - Julian Banks

Im just tryna be happy.

so this happened to me a couple of weeks ago semi sorta i can just relate to this video.. and on top of that i acted the same way she did... no point in holding a grudge my time will come. i just love everything this song means and stands for :-)

Best you never had.

i was so in love with you
there was nothing i could do
wouldn't give me the time of day

because i told you you'd live to regret it
and no i dont wanna make you feel bad
but when it comes to me you just wont get it
i'll be the best you never had
you put me through so many emotions
baby its your time for that.

you saw me as a friend
baby i dont want revenge
but if you must know the truth
what you didnt see in me
is what you will never be.

just making a prediction.

She looks so good in that white dress
at the far end of the aisle
standing where i should be standing
some other man on his face theirs a smile
i just walked in sat down silent
i stood outside for awhile
wondering why did i come here
face it you messed up and now she's with somebody else
and now all i can do is smile and fade into the background
such a lovely reception
i sit here sipping rose
then we catch eyes for a second
both of us smile then quickly look away
its funny you dont know what you got
till u dont got it no more
put down my glass grabbed the bottle
i throw it back and i shout she's with somebody else

sure hate to fade into the background.
- ne-yo