matt...

Sometimes i feel as if im kinda heartless or not sensitive enough
i see all these girls posts on my ex boyfriends wall about how much they miss him since he's passed things havent been the same. I JUST SMH.. like u writing on his facebook is not you missing him its for publicity why do people claim people after they have passed? that has always made me mad. yes some people have a reason to miss him some people were really close to him... maybe prolly only 2% i wouldnt dare keep writing about how much i miss him because when he was in the hospital i visted ONCE talked on the phone and kept in touch that was it.. but in all honesty i wasnt there like i could have been and im not gonna sit and act like i was... and im not gonna sit back and act like he was the love of my life.. he was my first sexual experience and to be honest that wasnt great.. he did make me see that men are selfish they only want one thing and no matter what they will leave you feeling like your not good enough. i havent been a relationship since him. and thats if you wanna count what we had has a relationship. he taught me that u cant trust ppl saying trust me. on another note he was a good friend when he wanted to be. and when we were together we shared things together that i prolly dont see myself sharing with someone else for a long time. do i still have a grudge... nah everyone is a learning experience. i do feel sad that he 's gone though he was young.. but in reality we all have to go one day.. he was a reminder that life can be taken away in the blink of an eye. thats that though ya know...

xoxo charm.